but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
