yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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