how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
