But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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