we have officially lost it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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