Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
