you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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