maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize