Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it hurts more in the daytime
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
