Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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