So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize