i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
