We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
