Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
