just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
