Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
