haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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