that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
