This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
