oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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