you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
