I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
