for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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