your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
