so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
