Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize