Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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