I heard we made out
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you inspire me to be a worse person
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
