I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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