She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
