i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
foreskin is a definite game changer
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
