thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
