If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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