why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
