I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
