my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
