and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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