Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize