I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
