Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
