he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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