i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
