Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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