As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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