dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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