Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize