I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
