dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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