Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
