i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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