You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
