I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
