Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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