my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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