Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
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If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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