no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
