I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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