hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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