i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Damn victory sex feels great
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize