if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
