My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
