My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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