Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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