it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
