I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
