So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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