She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
