Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
