Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
