are you so shy because you have an std?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
