the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
