This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
