A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
In America we eat man semen.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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