i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
