highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
