is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize