What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
