She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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