if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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