are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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