wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just cropdusted the office
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
