I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
