Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
