I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
