I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The Olympian is in my bed
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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