11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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