Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
